As I reflect on the past year and a half without my father, I came across my blog post from last Fathers Day. I thought I’d share.
Love you Dad xo
As the clock hit 12:01 I still hadn’t thought about what I wanted to write about regarding it being Father’s Day today. I see people posting on FB about their fathers and their husbands etc, and it is a beautiful thing. I didn’t know what I would feel, since I have recently lost mine, but it still makes me smile. Watching my friends so happy, sending tributes to the Fathers’s in their lives, is just awesome. Then I started to look back through some of the condolences that had been sent to my family, and they began to tell a tale of a man that may have been smaller than all of his kids, but had a HUGE impact on peoples lives. There were many stories from past coworkers passed along. Here is one that made me laugh and left me with a huge smile because when I close my eyes I can hear it happening.
A past coworker was in his mid twenties when hired by Canada Trust to work in Sales Finance. Due to a shortage of space. He found himself at a desk on the executive floor which allowed him the chance to rub shoulders with the “big guys”. He found it somewhat intimidating initially, to be sharing floor space with the CT executive but that fear quickly diminished due to the encouragement and support that he was shown, particularly from our father, Jed. He had been working for about a year when Dad pulled him aside one afternoon and offered him a promotion to a more senior position. As he had just become a new father and job security was now part of his thought process, the idea of accepting this was scary. He went on to tell Dad that it might be best suited for someone with more experience. After what seemed like an eternity Dad finally spoke and said ” of course it’s going to be a challenge but what’s the worst thing that can happen”. He replied that the thought of being fired had crossed his mind. Our father looked him straight in the eyes and said “son, you are correct that if you frig up I will fire you but if getting fired is the worse thing that can happen to you in your life, you are living a pretty fortunate life”. Those words were spoken to him 30 years ago and he said that sometimes when things aren’t going the way he was hoping, he thinks back to what Dad told him and realizes how lucky he is.
There are many more stories like this. The more that I read, the more that I wondered, did Dad actually know the impact that he had on these peoples lives?
Had they ever called him and told him what he had meant to them?
I don’t know the answer to those questions, and there is a possibility that most probably had. But, what if he didn’t know the effect he had made on peoples lives. Which reminded me of one of my favourite speeches from any movie.
Here it is:
“The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said. Maybe to say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew younger. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I’d congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend.”
Excerpt from “Waking Ned Devine”
Is there anyone that has made or continues to make your life extraordinary? Do they know it?
Maybe it is time for you to tell them.
It is a privilege to be called your son, thank you for all that you have given me. Your laugh, your mind, your heart and most of all your love. I will miss you forever.
Say Goodnight Dad
I love you
Ps “there’s a big difference between the man who has ten years of experience and the man who has one year of experience ten times over” Quote #792 from Jed Purcell #JedSaid